Last week I discussed some struggles that recently happened for me in my life. Today I wanted to share a more specific story with you. Before I gave birth I had planned on breastfeeding my little one until he was a year old. I had it all planned.
In my head, it wouldn’t hurt as badly as people said it would. In my head, I would be a natural at it. In my head, it would come so easily. Notice…these were all things in my head.
I guess deep down subconsciously I didn’t believe these surface thoughts I had floating in my head, because from the moment he was born none of those things were true.
It was a bit painful, unnatural and not at all easy.
But I decided to ignore these feelings and persevere. The lactation consultant at the hospital was super nice and showed me a football position that I would continue on doing for the next several weeks by myself.
Then at my 2 week checkup with my pediatrician, he told us although our son was perfectly healthy (thank God!), he hadn’t reached his original birth weight (apparently babies lose a bunch of weight within days after being born). So the Dr basically said we had to go to a lactation support group to test out my milk supply.
This happened to be the week of Thanksgiving and really felt so devastating. So to get our baby ready and go to the support group, it ended up taking several hours. While there, I was taught better latching and holding techniques, which I was truly grateful for. But to my dismay, I was put on a very demanding feeding and pumping schedule.
In addition I was told to take fenugreek and blessed thistle to help increase my supply. Then I had to attend a few more of these packed filled sessions that took hours from our day for those several weeks.
At so many points I wanted to give up. Especially when my pump broke (yes that happened twice) and when the blessed thistle made me violently ill amongst a million other reasons. But I knew deep down that I had the universe–God on my side. I kept telling myself that I would get through this and that my baby would gain weight.
So sure enough at his 1 month checkup the Dr was very pleased with his weight gain and told us to keep doing what we were doing.
So I went home and decided to listen to inspiration–and I stopped pumping and started feeding my boy when he “asked” for it. He ate–a lot! This became very demanding as well but I held on for the ride.
I swore at 2 months that I would switch to formula but I wanted to prove I could sustain my son and help him increase his weight. Sure enough at his 2 month checkup he was thriving! And something told me to keep at it. So I listened to inspiration and kept nursing my son.
So now 2 months later I am still exclusively nursing and some days I toy with idea of switching to formula.
I’m not sure how long I will be able to last but I take it day by day. I removed the set time frames of “1 year” from myself and just go with the flow, as wavy as the flow may be at times.
Life will throw you curve balls and the unexpected. You may think you have it all figured out, but something in your subconscious comes to life and sends you for a loop.
Know that the universe will send you inspiration. You just have to be open to receiving it. Remember to listen.
Until next time, have magical moments! 🙂 xoxo
P.S. For those of you celebrating, Happy St. Patrick’s Day!! May you experience the luck of the Irish! 😉